So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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