It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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