after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
