batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
