I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
