wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you would pick up someone in the library
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize