used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
