can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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