We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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