I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They have beer where we have blood.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize