I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
