you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
