sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
