Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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