so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
