so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
