he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dear god my vagina.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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