Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
