At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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