Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
