Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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