Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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