and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
