the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
