there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
