When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
