your parents love me but you hate me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
