Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
