Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
