I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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