none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
