I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
