If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
