You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
