Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
