Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
