There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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