who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
