My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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