No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
even my farts smell like vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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