oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
