But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
