so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
