smell my finger.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take back everything I said about communal showers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
