I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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