Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Found your dick twin last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this hospital has no fireball
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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