i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
