she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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