If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
