Are we in a gay sports bar?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
