if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
