found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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