I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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