It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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