Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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