I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
