i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
